Patience, Training, Character - #3 Good Character

“With much patience and hard training, one develops good character.” - Grandmaster Ki Whang Kim

In a time where the anti-hero gets so much attention in movies and media, why would I want to develop a good character?

We use the term character to describe a person’s most prominent attributes; it is the the sum total of the features and traits that form an individuals’s nature.  Someone with “good” character, by definition, displays the traits a society most prevalently considers as “good”.  As a result, they are perceived by most as person worthy of trust and someone to be looked to for inspiration and to be emulated.

Character is an important thing in life because it determines how we think, which then determines how we speak and act, which then determines the results we get in life.

So what character traits are most identified with happiness and success?

1. Honest

2. Persistant/Resilient

3. Caring/Loving

4. Leader

5. Elegant/Self-Control

6. Hard Worker

7. Help Other Succeed

8. Inspirational

“There are really only three kinds of people: Those who don’t succeed, those who succeed temporarily, and those who remain successful. Character is the only way to sustain success.” – John Maxwell

“Watch your thoughts: They become your words. Watch your words: They become your actions. Watch your actions: They become your habits. Watch your habits: They become your character. Watch your character: It becomes your destiny.” - Frank Outlaw

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Patience, Training, Character - #2 Just Train

“With much patience and hard training, one develops good character.” - Grandmaster Ki Whang Kim

I’m always amazed when someone comes up to me and asks, “Can you teach me how to be a great __________?  I have about an hour….”

“Get your black belt at home in my 6-week online/DVD course!”

“Earn a MBA in our 6-month executive program!”

When did skill development go the way of McDonalds?!?!  If I can get a hamburger and fries in 60 seconds, I should be able to learn to be a great negotiator in an hour, don’t you think?  I’ll just YouTube lessons.  Sounds a little silly when you say it out loud, doesn’t it?

Can you quickly learn the basics of a skill set?  Absolutely!  New students in the martial arts learn most the basic techniques that make up a style in the first few classes.  You can read any book on being a good leader or manager in a few hours.  I can (and have) watched YouTube videos to learn to play my favorite guitar riffs (no jam sessions for me though).

Knowing the skills and becoming proficient at them are totally different things.  Proficiency takes practice.  Mastery… a lot of practice.  Tiger Woods did not become a great golfer with a 1-hour lesson and then just playing in tournaments.  He practiced for 13-hours a day… every day… for decades.

The head of my martial arts school is constantly saying, “Train, just train.”  Like sharpening a knife, we hone our skills by practicing them frequently and consistently.

“In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.” - Albert Einstein

“Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.” - Anton Chekhov

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Patience, Training, Character - #1 The Power of A Pause

“With much patience and hard training, one develops good character.” - Grandmaster Ki Whang Kim

This is the school motto at Kim Studio where I train and teach martial arts. Traditional martial arts is as much about mental philosophies and disciplines as it is about the physical ones.  And, I find this one to be as applicable outside dojo as in it.  It all starts with - In-neh, patience.

Patience is an elusive but powerful tool.  And one place that power resides in is the… pause.   

Whether a physical pause - like pausing to look both ways before you cross a street - or mental one, great things happen when you allow space for them.

When someone comes to you for a decision or help with a problem, are you rushing to an answer (and talking over them)?  Or, are you mentally pausing… waiting for them to finish telling you about what they need?

The effect of that pause - that minor investment in time - can be dramatic.  Not only does it allow you to collect more complete data on the problem or decision, you are also investing heavily into that relationship.  When you are thinking about your answer, you stop listening.  Pausing sends a message to the other person that you are truly listening to them.

”Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl

“It’s not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.” - Jack Benny

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